Why You Can't Do Entrepreneurship By Yourself (The Importance of Community, Coaching + Mentorship)

The following is a transcription of Episode 6 of The Peaceful Entrepreneur Podcast! Click here to listen on all platforms!

AMY: Welcome to the Peaceful Entrepreneur podcast, where together we are finding peace in the process of everyday business ownership by improving one step at a time, how we think and what we do. I'm your host, Amy Stout.

This very well may be one of the biggest conversations that we have on this podcast, because it gets to the very core of so many things. The reality is we were not designed to do life alone in any respect. We were created to be in community with each other, but I think we can often ignore that fact when it comes to work and comes to owning a business. We think we can do it by ourselves and I am extremely guilty of that.

So today my dear friend and fellow business owner Jess and I are going to be talking about the importance of having a community around you. We're going to be talking about two different types of community you should seek out as a business owner and three different roles that people can play in your life and in your business as your community. I am praying that this conversation will be an encouragement to you. So let's go ahead and get started!

Yay, I am joined today by my sweet friend Jess!

JESS: Hello, hello.

AMY: Oh my goodness, Jess and I are just another one of the cases of fast friends, but we live thousands of miles apart from each other. I wish that we could be real life in-person friends, and I have faith that we will meet.

JESS: We will make it happen.

AMY: Yes. But for now, this this will have to do.

JESS: Yes, absolutely.

AMY: But Jess and I connected a year ago.

JESS: That's crazy.

AMY: Yeah, I was thinking that the other day I was like, wow. At the same event that Beth and I met at, which was an online masterclass for Christian female entrepreneurs. And so Jess and I had just started following each other after that and we didn't connect and start talking until late summer.

JESS: Yeah, I was gonna say summer sometime. But it wasn't until a couple months later that we were like, hey, maybe we should like have a conversation. And once we got on that call, it was just it was like two and a half hours long. We thought, aybe an hour we'll get to know each other! Two and a half hours later….

AMY: So we are super similar, but obviously gifted in different areas by the Lord. And so we can kind of help each other as well. So Jess, tell us a little bit about yourself!

JESS: So I am located in Kansas City. So Midwest born and raised. I just finished my master's, which is huge. Glad to be done with that.

AMY: Congratulations!

JESS: Thank you. I got married a little over a year ago. So talk about a whirlwind. Actually— meeting, dating, getting married during a pandemic, then finishing master's first year of marriage. Wow, it was a whirlwind.

So in the middle of all of that, I also am running my own business, trying to build my business, community, what does community look like with all of those other pieces involved. And so that's when I saw someone post about a conference mastermind that they were holding. And I was like, I need this, so I'm going to go.

AMY: Absolutely. And yeah, that conference is a great example of what we're gonna be talking about today, which is building a community among people who are doing the same thing as you and who are like-minded with you and how important that is.

JESS: Absolutely. Because when you don't have it, there's functioning, but there's not thriving. And I think people equate those things unless you have felt the difference.

AMY: A hundred percent. I am excited to jump into that, but I don't want to skip your business.

JESS: Oh my gosh. I just, I just, yeah. So I am currently working with some beta clients right now because I'm going to be launching faith-based family communication coaching because I am so passionate about it.

So my master's is in applied family sciences, undergrad and family studies in human services. So basically I love people and I love the power of words. And so with those two things combined, I have noticed and had stories in my own life where I lost relationships for seasons or because they were so tense and God resurrected and used it and though a lot of work on both parties, we were able to fix those things, work through them.

But I would love to help other people not have to walk through that season of stress, that season of tension, that season of “is this person going to be in my life in a year?” Like that is just a very hard brain space to constantly have. And you can't function and you can't thrive in the way God intended for us to when that's going on.

So I'm very excited to start my coaching, really helping people learn how to communicate in different circumstances with different people, because we're all created in God's image and we all have a gift of communication, but we do it differently. So it's important to not only know our style, but how we can talk to others as well and what that looks like.

AMY: Oh my goodness, that is such gold. And I am just honored to be part of hearing what you're doing as you're building it. And because like we're recording this in January, but it'll be a couple months until it actually airs. So you'll be further along in your process.

JESS: I know it's gonna be crazy.

AMY: I know. And when you first shared like the full scope of this idea with me. I was just hit by how much of a need that is and how much it's not being met. Like you don't hear about that kind of coaching, but when you think about it, you could probably come up with every single person could probably come up with someone that they have had a struggle with communication and conflict and all of that. And so it's going be so valuable to the people who work with you.

JESS: Thank you. I'm just so excited. Yeah, I just love helping people. So thank you.

AMY: Yes, I love that. And it kind of aligns with like what we're doing here with the podcast is like, “Oh, yeah, we want you to have a peaceful mindset and to be able to thrive and you can't do it by yourself.” And that's what we're talking about today.

And so there comes a point where, I mean, you and I are both guilty of trying to do it by ourselves.

JESS: Well, it doesn't work well.

AMY: I know, so like everybody can try for a time, but there comes a point when you just need that additional support. And that can look a lot of different ways. So like it could be like your coaching or you could need to hand off tasks or you could need to, I don't know, fill in the blank. Like it can look like whatever. And we're actually gonna talk about quite a few different ways that that can look.

So let's start our conversation and our argument towards the topic of why you can't do business alone by sharing, I wanna hear your experience and what it was like, like what you did, how long you tried to do it by yourself and that shift and that realization after you started bringing in additional support.

JESS: Yeah, so I launched my blog officially in, I was gonna say February, but it wasn't, it was April of 2020. So yes, everyone go back to where we were. Talk about isolating and trying to create community. And for that season, it was it was okay. It was okay for a couple months because I was talking to people on Zoom. I had people, it gave me a lot of focus to spend time with the Lord and where he was leading me. But over time, I just got more and more burnt out. Then Josh and I started dating, and that was a community piece.

But then really, it really hit a year later when I went back to finish my masters. So like a year ago, Josh and I talked about me finishing my masters. Literally like the week after we got married and got home from our honeymoon, I got a call about my program and we kind of looked and went, “Well, I guess it's now or never.” And he was so supportive of that.

So I jumped back into being a full-time graduate student basically while also doing this whole side hustle thing of I want to do brand deals, I want to do I want to grow in communication understanding while I do my master's all of those pieces.

And I think when we hear the term side hustle we think alone side hustle because it's what's happening at night or early in the morning it's not in the nine to five time. And so being an extrovert, that was a time because I gotta have my people. And so, again, I kind of was making it work. I went to this mastermind where I met you, and it worked. I connected. I was chatting with people, but the level of isolation was so strong and I didn't realize it until about seven months later, I would say, as I was in my final semester of grad school, I was literally running on fumes. I was not, I literally apologized to every one of my life saying, I know I'm not pleasant to be around. I'm trying to crank this out. And I even sent like texts to friends going, I can't, I can't see you as often as I want to while I finish this. And it was so, it was actually really like not healthy because I wasn't seeing people. I wasn't investing in others.

And for that season, I think God redeemed it and he walked me through it. But I just think how much has changed in the last three to four months of one, my master's being done, but two, meeting with you and Beth, like we have created a community group between all three of us and we talk weekly, if not daily and having other people in your space and in your industry, because as I finished my degree, I was, I wasn't in a cohort. I wasn't in any kind of group. It was literally me taking classes online. And I couldn't talk to anyone about what I was learning in class like, “Do you understand this?” I had no community in that. And then I also didn't have community in my workplace. And so I just was losing it.

And so it's been a complete 180 since prioritizing community, mentorship, coaching. What does that look like? I have so much more energy. It's 4:30pm in the day and I'm like, I could keep going or maybe I'll take a break and go out to dinner with friends and then come back and keep working because I'm excited about what I'm working on and it has been a while since I have felt that way.

So mine is a little bit different because I had so many different pieces moving but I think that's where a lot of people come from and like we're all doing multiple things or we have multiple hats we wear. And so, but yeah, just the joy I now have, the determination, the energy is just completely crazy now that I have like you and Beth and other entrepreneurs here in KC to be like, “How would you do this?” Like, just feedback.

Because unless you're an entrepreneur, which if you're listening to this, I'm thinking are, no one understands entrepreneurial life unless you are one. It is not structured in the same way. It is not like, it's just so different that you have to have people who understand what you're walking through.

AMY: A hundred percent. And a theme that I'm kind of picking out from what you're saying that I relate to is you think you're fine until you're not.

JESS: Yeah. A thousand percent. Like you trick yourself. “I got this. It's fine.”

AMY: Yes. Because I was pretty determined for my whole first year of business that like, I'm fine. I can research this, I can figure out how to do it myself. And I'm an only child. So hence, have some first born tendencies and just independence of like, I'm just going to figure this out.

And I'm also frugal. So my first response isn't to spend money to figure something out. It's just like figured out myself. I've grown a lot in that and I see the value in investing in things now. But obviously when you're starting, you don't have anything to invest by the time that you're getting energy.

So that's very much where I was. I was just like, “I'm just going to figure this out myself.” And I think the first realization of “I can't do this by myself anymore” is when I hired my first person, because I was admitting that I literally can't, I don't have one, the time, two, the expertise, to do everything that my clients are wanting. So I have to bring somebody else in. So that was a piece of things.

And I would say, apart from going to that mastermind, which was a year into business for me, so I started February 2021. The mastermind was January 2022 and I hired my first person February 2022. I hired a couple more people within those next couple of months, but I still wasn't seeking out true support in the form of mentorship or coaching or community. Help on the task side of things is immense, but it's not everything.

And I think I got to the point, just the very epitome of “fine till I'm not”". That's just how I am in general. But I just got to the point of complete burnout. I remember talking about, I was just like, “This is not working anymore.” And I had the distinct feeling of “This business is bigger than my brain now.” And it's not gonna grow unless my brain grows. And I can't do that by myself. I have to call other people into this.

And so in that time I started, I wasn't intentionally doing a ton of reaching out to like peer community, but I was definitely still having conversations in that space. I started networking a ton locally and going to different networking groups, which was super helpful. And in those networking groups, I found a coach, which is cool.

JESS: That's great.

AMY: Yeah, it is cool 'cause I'd been thinking about it and then one just like walked into my life. Obviously that's the Lord placing him there. But you know, it was just like, “Oh my gosh, I had been thinking about this.” Bam, here's a great opportunity.

And so I started integrating coaching and I met other entrepreneurs through the networking group. So I started like meeting with other entrepreneurs just for the sake of relating and talking and getting to know each other and not with the agenda to work together.

And that's also a really good distinction to have and because you go in with a different mindset, right?

JESS: Absolutely.

AMY: I started expanding that community and then I feel like our little community thing just kind of naturally happened.

JESS: Yeah, it totally did. And I think I do wanna touch on, you mentioned burnout and I think right now that's such a big theme that a lot of people are saying, but it's not trendy. It's hard. It is not something where you like brag. Like it's explaining what people are coming to the table with and why people are passionate about what they are.

And so I think burnout can also look very different for different people. And so knowing yourself and having community around you pre-burnout so they can go, "Hey, you're not acting the same," or "Your words are different," or your demeanor.

Having people watch your life changes so much and can help prevent burnout but for anyone listening, burnt out is not the goal. I just wanted to say that because I think it's become such an easy phrase right now but it's not an easy season so get people, what we're talking about today, do preemptively so you don't have to reach the place of burnout that both Amy and I were in. We're trying to help you learn from our stories.

AMY: Exactly. And it's such a huge part of just the goal of this podcast in general is like, we're working against burnout. We're working against hustle. Yes, we work hard and we strive to be, to have excellence in everything we do, but we can be peaceful in the process of doing that.

And yes, there's still going to be hard times. Like we're not shooting for peace 100 percent of the time, but we're shooting for it as a more baseline that we can find our way back to and have those tools. Like you said, like this is a preemptive effort to put the tools out there so that when the hard times come, there is something to go back to to try and cope, and get back to the healthy mental place.

JESS: Absolutely, and peace is something that you can have alongside stress. It's not like you can only be peaceful.

AMY: One or the other.

JESS: And if you have any stress or any frustration or ever be overwhelmed, you're still not peaceful. Peace is like, there's a condition of our mindset and our heart that all of this other stuff is happening, but I'm still at peace because they're not ruling my day.

AMY: That's not what you're rooted in, yeah. That's not what you're rooted in. So yeah, absolutely. I think of the verse like in every situation I've learned to be content. So that like the condition there is like, I will go through stuff and I will go through good stuff and I can't be rooted in the situation. I have to find my rooting as something else, which is the only thing that's going to provide the ultimate peace is the Lord and then out of that we can build our peaceful mindset.

So let's talk because we're talking about a lot of terms here. We've mentioned peer community, we've mentioned coaching, we've mentioned mentorship and I know that you have some pretty clear distinctions in your head between those things. So go ahead and just walk me through what your thoughts are there.

JESS: Yeah, so I just kind of do it in a tiered way.

So community to me is people who are on your same level, if you will, they're entrepreneurs, I'm a newer entrepreneur, in the sense of I've been doing it for less than five years. And so I look for other entrepreneurs who are in that same place, even more specific, like Christian, female creatives, that kind of thing. And that is community building. That is like, if work comes out of that awesome, but the intent is. to build relationship, build encouragement, have someone to say, can you look over this? Because I think it makes sense, but maybe it doesn't. Like, just an even playing field type thing. That is how I view community and being able to speak into each other's lives in a positive way.

Mentorship would be someone that's the next level. It would be someone who you meet with who is a couple steps ahead of you. They are maybe in the five to 10 year range of entrepreneurship. They have some of the success that you're looking towards, not rooted in, but looking for. They meet with you. I don't really know of like paid mentorship, that goes into coaching here in a second. So like, in my brain, it's finding someone who's willing to invest in the next group of entrepreneurs or maybe it, you know, is someone who graduated out of your community sphere and is now a mentor.

And then coaching is when you pay, you invest in someone who literally is going to take you from point A to point B. And a lot of people also can get confused between like a counselor and coaching. So I heard the distinction one time like a counselor looks at your history to see how you've got to where you are and how to live here. Well, a coach takes you from where you are to where you want to be and gives you the tools to get there. And so that typically requires a lot of schooling, a lot of education, and so that requires financial investment.

So that's kind of how I view community. Those are your Friday night people that are in your same sphere. You could text me like, “Oh my gosh, what is happening?” They're your co workers in a traditional line to five sense. You're not paying them. They're not paying you, but they get it.

AMY: Yeah, yeah. Mentor is that supervisor? Like, community?

JESS: Yeah. Yeah. Mentor in a nine to five situation, be like your supervisor, your manager, you can say I need help with this. What do I do? All of that. And then the coach is like, you probably have to, you know, to get to a big owner of a company. You're not going to have to pay for that time, but you're going to have to show that you're like worth it. And not that your value changes, but like their time is worth something too. So that's kind of the tiers that I use to describe the difference.

AMY: I love that. I kind of want to break each of them down. And talk about what that looks like in our lives.

I'm excited to talk about the community piece of it. So what I've experienced and what I wanna kind of draw back to what you were saying is you can crowdsource like other ideas and other opinions because all of us have different experiences and different histories and different trainings. And our brains think different ways. And so you're gonna be able to go so much further in your business when you're calling on your peers.

Because like, oh my, it's like most of my good marketing ideas are Beth. Like I really genuinely cannot take credit for most things. Because she's just amazing. And I just did a consulting session with somebody who is like, she's a friend, like we're community. And I came up with the name for the passion project that she's working on. Not like because I was trying to, but we were both just spit balling and I said something and she was like, “why didn't I think of that?” And she was like, “yeah, that's it.” Like that's it, I made the Instagram, you know?

JESS: That's amazing.

AMY: It's just like special to be able to contribute to each other in that way and not expect anything back or feel like you owe someone or whatever. It's like we're all just sharing this space and helping each other.

JESS: With entrepreneurship, you can go in with a scarcity mindset or an abundance one and it will hit you at random times and you don't even know it's happening. So having community that if something were to evolve, like something like this, I did not befriend you because in a year and a half, you were going to ask me to be on your podcast.That wasn't the intent. The intent was friendship and community and encouraging one another.

And so, yeah, I think the importance of community and not doing it alone, like we're told, “better as a man who has a friend for when he falls, there will be another to help them up.” And so having someone there, even if it's not physically like 1000 miles away, like having that community that—I know we keep saying that word over and over again—but having people in your corner that you can say “I've had a rough day. I don't know about this entrepreneurial thing anymore.” And they go, “you got this. Take a breather. Take a breath. We'll talk tomorrow.” Because it is really hard.

And I think what we see a lot on social media, in the entrepreneurial space is, “I'm doing it alone. I'm in charge. I got this. I built a six figure business. I'm launching this course from the beach.” Which I am not saying any of those things are wrong. But if you look at it, there's probably a team, or there's not a team, I feel very sorry for them. Not in a pity, like I know better. I just want so much more for them to have community to celebrate those big milestones with.

Because when you were telling me about the podcast, I was like, this is amazing. Yay. I'm so happy. Yes. But if you don't have people to celebrate the wins and be there in the losses, purely because they want to be in your life, they want to encourage you, they're not gaining anything from you. It's going to feel like everything has an an asterisk. They like it because they can get something out of it type thing. And we just need genuine community to make entrepreneurship work.

AMY: So good. And it's like, some people might write it off like, "Oh, I don't need someone to tell me I have a good idea." Or like, "I'm fine. Like if I have a bad idea, I don't need someone." But it's easy to say that because it feels small, but it's actually gigantic. Actually makes such a big difference in your momentum and in your mental space and in like just the trajectory of your business in general. Like there just comes a point where you can't you can't go any higher by yourself. You just can't.

JESS: And I love that you use the word momentum because I think yeah, we can all accomplish stuff. Absolutely. But back to like my energy changed. I had momentum. Like once I had you guys, I was going, okay. And when we text each other like, “this is what I gotta do today.”

To be an entrepreneur, you have to be disciplined in, in mindset, in your schedule, in your boundaries, because you can work at any time for any period of time. Or you can just blow it off and be like, I'm not working for the next three days. Which there's pros and cons too, but having community around you that you want to be like, and I think that's another piece.

Like pick the people you want to be around. There's that quote that like the top five people you spend the most time with is who you will become. Whether you're talking about community or even mentorship, does that person not only have the business you want, do they have the relationships with the people that you want. If they're married, do they have the marriage while building the business that you want? Because if you're not looking at every aspect, that can get more difficult faster.

AMY: Yeah, that's so good. And I love that you just earlier this week in our community group chat, we're just like, Hey, what are you working on this week? I want to keep you accountable. I have no problem getting my client work done, but for my own self, it goes by the wayside so quickly. And so I'm so glad that we're doing that because one of the things that I said I needed to get done, I am so glad I did it 'cause I think I would have been so overwhelmed in the next couple of weeks if I hadn't.

JESS: Oh yes, I know what you're talking about now. I read that message this morning.

AMY: And so like, you sent that I think on Monday or Tuesday and I think I responded that same day. And then on like Wednesday, Beth was like, "Amy, have you done it?" And I was like, "No, but I'm going to."

JESS: Absolutely.

AMY: So good.

JESS: Yeah, yeah. So I think there's just no substitute for it. And you can't thrive without it. And that sounds like very hard and fast, but it is.

AMY: Yeah, it is. And I know you're in a mentorship relationship. So share a little bit about what that looks like and how that affects you today.

JESS: Yes, yes. So I would say I have had a mentor pretty much every stage of my life. It was one of the things my mom told me was she was like, “you have to have someone other than your dad and I talking into your life because they're gonna say things we can't.” So in whatever area we're talking about, a mentor is a great person to find.

And so that would be that person that's several steps ahead of you, maybe a couple of years. And I noticed that my demeanor changes. I walk taller when someone who has made it is telling me that I can do it too. And made it by my definition.

And so I want to make sure that you point this out, what you need community and what your mentor is mentoring you in may not look like the person beside you. And that's okay. And give yourself and that person permission to have different mentors and in different places you need to grow.

And so yeah, I walk taller because someone who knows the path and knows how hard it is is going, “yeah, you can totally do this. Why are you doubting yourself?” And then I'm going, “I don't know.” So yeah, just having other women speak into who I am and who God's called me to be and going, “what is the consequence if you don't do this? What is going to happen?” Like giving me both sides or not even both sides, all the perspectives, um, can make such a difference.

And I, I kind of have a mentorship/coach combo right now because of my internship. And so it's a little bit of both for me, but one of my, so I currently work for Allie Worthington. And so I get to be coached by her. And one thing she told me was, one, no one is going to understand entrepreneurship unless they're an entrepreneur. So just know that you're not going to have people that understand you. And frankly, if it was good enough for Jesus, why isn't it good enough for us? Because Jesus wasn't understood. That's why people kept asking questions.

And so having that permission from someone who maybe doesn't have the exact career I want, but is something I'm striving to like mirror with the aspects God's called me to with the communication coaching. Like okay so this person who's made it is having to remind herself or having to like tell like she had to walk through this too. Okay I'm not crazy. I'm not the only one that's felt like this but then through that internship I've met other women who are mentors. They're mentors in my writing. They're mentors in they're helping me with like where I want to go and so yeah it just make such a difference.

And at one point, I was in a coaching call with the other interns, and someone said like, What, what do we do when we have imposter syndrome? And she goes, “No, we're not gonna do that. We are not gonna play that I'm supposed to be quiet. God didn't call me to this, like, that's being humble. Ladies just stop telling yourself that that's the humble thing. It's not.” I was like, Okay, so like, there's still 50 minutes left in this coaching call, but I got a lot to talk and think through with my community about that piece.

And so I know that got a little muddy there. So I just wanted to like reiterate that community are those people that are on your playing field. They are the people there, mentor, that person a couple steps ahead of you, in whatever aspect you're talking about. You could have a financial mentor, You could have a fitness mentor and you could have an entrepreneurial mentor, spiritual mentor. And then a coach who's also going to put your feet to the flame a little bit and be like, okay, you were going to do this.

AMY: Yeah. And you feel like way more accountable to it because like you're paying for it and because they're like so far ahead of you, so you're like, "Oh, I gotta do it." It's like the same level as school pressure.

JESS: Yep, yep, and it's a limited time. You only have them for so much time. If you pick a coaching package, or whatever contract you work with a coach, I only have them for three weeks, three months. And you're like, I want to make the most out of this because that's all I have. But I don't think we walk into each day with that mindset. Like, and so it's just a great mindset shift and it does bring peace because you're like, I have a game plan.

That's why your consulting services are so amazing. Cause people go, I have all these ideas and I have no idea how to make them come to fruition. You're like, I got you.

AMY: Absolutely, and I like what you said about how you can bring what you're absorbing and learning in coaching and mentorship to your community to flesh it out and process it.

Because every time I have coaching, like because my coach is so far ahead of me and knows so much, I'm like, okay, I'm understanding all this on a surface level, but I got some processing to do to be able to actually absorb it. And so bringing that to community and sharing it with them and bouncing those ideas off of them is going to help with your processing so much.

JESS: I was looking at my Bible because I was reading this morning in Proverbs and it's Proverbs 13:20 and it says, “whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” That's not, that can sound like God's this big bad guy. But it's saying that when you're wise, you surround yourself with people that are wise.

And I think we were, I mean, I only speak for myself. I think I was a fool to think that I could do a lot of this on my own. Which is why I reached part of it, which is why. Yeah, it's just like, yeah, I just read that, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. I was like, oh, it's so true. And to think that burnout isn't harmful is completely inaccurate.

AMY: I described it as my brain cannot function. Like I feel like I'm functioning on 50 to 60% and I can't go higher than that. That is not good for anybody involved.

JESS: No, and if you don't have community pre-burnout and like preventing burnout, like you have to have people in your corner before life hits the fan. Because then they're there, whether that's community, mentor, coach, all of those pieces, you are going to have a client that's hard and like goes crazy or is like, or not replying to things and you're like, I'm so confused. Like you're gonna have customers, clients, people that you're like, I don't know if this is like a good fit or not.

And if you don't have community ownership in a coach, you will just say yes to everything. With that scarcity mindset. And that will lend to exhaustion.

AMY: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I'm like connecting so many dots as you're talking right now. You'll drive yourself into burnout if you don't have other people to keep checks on you.

I keep thinking about Luke right now because he is a huge part of my community, not only as my husband, but as my coworker in the business. And I got approached with like being asked to do something, like a new commitment, a new weekly commitment. And I had the mental and emotional capacity for it. And so for that reason, I was like, “should I say yes to this?” But Luke was able to be like, “hey, you're already doing this, this and this on a weekly basis. You're gonna get overwhelmed very quickly if you do that.” I needed that outside piece to validate like, hey, it's okay if you say no.

And same with Beth. Like I have gone to Beth 'cause Beth and I actually work together for context. And so I've gone to her and been like, “am I crazy for feeling this way? Like, is this just like my emotions? Am I like getting to work that? Do I need to cool off?” And she's able to come at it from a non-emotional standpoint and say, I mean, she could say either way, but our situation worked out for her to say like, “no, I've been feeling the same thing.”

JESS: And I think also realizing what, like, what kind of life are you wanting to build? Because that will be crucial to the community you choose. So but if you want to be a part of climbing the corporate ladder, and please hear, I'm not dissing that at all. I think there's a lot of excellence there. There's a lot of believers there. I think I don't think there's anything wrong with climbing the corporate ladder.

AMY: There's people whose brains work really well in that context.

JESS: Yes. And mine just doesn’t, but other people do. And so if you want to do that, you are going to find out the systems that will make that occur. f\For entrepreneurs, it just is applied differently.

Yeah., so having the community and the people, it's so funny that you said that Luke did that because I've done that with Josh where I'm like, “I could totally do this, right?” And he’s like, “I mean, you could, yeah. But let's take a step back and one, let's like see what God has to say about it. But two, who are you going to be when you say yes to that?”

Because I want to be the best version of myself for my family, Josh, and then extended as well for my community here. Like my church family, like what does this look like lived out. And so having people going, “okay, if you say yes to this, what does that mean for the other pieces is just so important.”

AMY: It's so important. You've got some good one liners like “who will you be if you say yes to that?” Like that's such a good like one liner.

JESS: Well, thank you.

AMY: She's going to be a great coach.

JESS: Thank you.

AMY: Speaking of coaching, I wanna touch for a moment on like, how do you choose your coach? 'Cause that's really important, of like choosing the right person to pour into you and what qualities to look for. Because my coach does not look like what I thought my coach would look like. But it's actually really good.

Like, first of all, it's a guy. And Luke and I go together and it's awesome. And he almost feels like a father figure because he is so much older than us and he's got so much business experience. And that is a great fit for us. Like rather than like a 35 year old woman, which is kind of what I would have expected, you know? It's been really good. And I did have to like think and pray about like, is this the right fit for us? But it's been awesome just because he has kind of the big brain that I was talking about.

Like my brain was struggling to comprehend, you know, how to grow this business. But his is so much bigger than my business because he has built businesses that are so much huger. And so he's looking in on my business from such a different perspective. And I'm over here, like searching for like, oh, I need to do this method and read this book and take this class and he's heard of all those things. And he can say you don't need that. You don't need that. All you need to focus on is this one right here.

And I think the biggest thing is the perspective of it. They have such a different perspective that they can speak in. And you just have to trust that guidance because it is at that point like bigger than you. And you have to trust that they are going to guide you well.

So yeah, let's talk about like, how do you find that right, coach?

JESS: Yeah, so first and foremost, most coaches will have some kind of like free discovery call. Use it, use it because personalities have to match. Not saying they have to have your personality, but you have to be able to be who you are in that coaching call. And if you can't, it's not a good fit. So that is just like a one and done tip.

I was talking with someone yesterday about a part of my business, back end stuff, systems and all of that. And I was like, the person who was helping me with this before, like I couldn't ask them questions. They're like, “Oh, yeah, no, you need to find someone else then because that is not how that is supposed to be.”

And so I would say coach, that would be one thing. Use their free discovery calls. They're usually 15 minute, a max of 30 and honor that. The other piece with finding the right coach is, yeah, looking at their life and their business and do they have the same priorities that you do? Because you don't want to be so successful at building your business that you miss other parts of life.

So that would just be more of like, not a caution, but just look at all aspects to the person. Because what are people saying about them? Other people that have worked with them check like reviews. I know that sounds weird, but like check testimonials, check them out. If they're on social media, DM them. I have DM’d some big names y'all. And they usually are very, very helpful. Very helpful. Because they know, they remember. And so that's actually how I got the internship with Allie. I started actually DMing a different author and found out it was just a total God thing. So ask questions.

That would be the other piece. Ask questions. And one of my favorite questions to ask, and honestly, in certain situations, I've totally made people uncomfortable because I don't know what to do with this. I'm like, tell me the information I don't know to ask about. Because if you are in a new coaching relationship, new anything, you're like, I don't know what I don't know. "So tell me what I don't know." And then I'll go from there. And so, prepare, have questions type thing. Those are very tangible pieces.

AMY: I literally wanna ask my coach that next time we meet. Wait, we're literally meeting this afternoon. I'm gonna ask him that.

JESS: Oh my gosh. That's amazing.

What do I not know that you think I should know right now? Yeah. Cause they could be thinking like, okay, this person's doing really great, in two years they're going to need to have XYZ in place. And that's not even on your radar. And you're going, “Oh shoot. I need to be thinking about that now.” And so, yeah, that's one of my favorite questions.

Yeah, make sure you're comfortable with them, that you can ask questions. Show up. I know that sounds really weird, but like, again, coaches are an investment. And so show up for yourself, show up for the calling God's put on your life. Because basically, they're there to help you achieve that calling.

And so yeah, that would be that piece. Yeah, what you said the no, be willing to say no, it is okay to go on a discovery call and someone who you have thought, oh my gosh, I'm so excited. This is great. Meet with them and you're like, oh, we do not vibe. It does not work. That is okay. No is okay to say. So you can invest in yourself and you can say no, and it doesn't hurt that.

AMY: I'm definitely doing an episode on saying no. That could be a whole episode.

JESS: I love the power of no.

AMY: Yeah, it's like, that's how you protect your peace. That's safety to it a lot of the time.

JESS: And honestly, it protects other people. Cause if we say no and we flake because we've overextended ourselves or we aren't showing up as the excellent version that we are supposed to, that we are not a gift to them, no offense everyone, but like we're not.

AMY: No, it's absolutely true. There's two sides to it, of course.

Well, this has been so good and packed full of so many good things. So thank you for just having this conversation with me.

JESS: Oh, absolutely.Thank you for having me.

AMY: But my question that I like to ask everybody before we head out, and this doesn't have to be in the context of business, but it can.

What is bringing you peace right now?

JESS: So right now that would be my morning routine or my morning rhythm is what I'm gonna, I like to call it 'cause it does ebb and flow a little bit. I actually get up at least by 5:30a because I like having a slow wake up. And my mind is actually really awake and ready for the day by nine when I do that, even earlier sometimes, but it has allowed me to read books that I said I always wanted to read and never found the time to. And then I carry that wisdom into my day. And so that is bringing me a lot of peace on a personal level.

And then on another level, my husband and I have made this commitment since last year, having a Sabbath day every single week. And so if someone's like, "Hey, do you want to do this?" And we go, "Okay, so that took Saturday, so Sunday a Sabbath or vice versa." Like we are so, we have boundaries on that. And it is a game changer. It protects our peace. It protects us. We're actually recharged going into the week. So yeah, so I would say those two things.

AMY: I love those. That is so good. I'm definitely doing a morning routine episode because Beth and I also mentioned morning routines and gosh, that really affects especially us entrepreneurs because we have the freedom to choose how we structure our days. And so if we're not intentional with them, we can very easily set ourselves up for not success. I'm not gonna say failure, but--

JESS: No, no, no. And maybe delayed, delayed, like exhausted success. All those things.

AMY: Yeah, absolutely. That's awesome. Well, thank you so much again, Jess. I cannot wait to continue to chat with you in community and maybe have you back again for another interview in the future.

JESS: I would love that. Thank you so much for having me.

AMY: Yes, and everything that can connect you to Jess will be in the description. So you can learn more about her coaching and everything she has going on and just follow along. She has very inspirational Instagram content.

JESS: Thank you.

AMY: Yeah, it's very encouraging. And it's like deeply encouraging, not just like surface level, like “you've got this!”

JESS: Yeah, no, I don't really know how to do that. I'm like, let's go straight for like what we're actually walking into the day with. Raw authenticity.

AMY: We love it. Well, thank you everyone for being here and for listening and we will see you in the next episode.

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. We look forward to connecting with you more, whether that's on Instagram, TikTok, or our email list. We'd love to hear what you thought of today's episode, and if you have any additional tips to add. We will see you next week with more tips and tools to becoming a peaceful entrepreneur. Bye for now!